the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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