Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
