Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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