a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
