I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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