would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
