She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
