Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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