Nicole vs. Life
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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