Small penises have feelings too.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
