She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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