I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
