Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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