Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
