she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
