it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
