3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
