So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
