dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this boner is exhausting
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
