bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
