I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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