Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
