who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
