i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
