I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
