Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
