it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
