Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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