Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
high people should be assigned attendants
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
