Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
