I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
