i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
