so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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