hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
