We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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