I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
