so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
