Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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