Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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