This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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