Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
