I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
