12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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