I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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