either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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