the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
