I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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