The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
