And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
