Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
