walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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