I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
