My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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